were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
