Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
