Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
