I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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