would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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