okay pat passed out under dana's car
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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