Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
