I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
