with your own penis?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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