Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
