Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
