no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
