Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
