Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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