So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
