Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
