are you still at the devil's house?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
