Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
