Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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