Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
