actually, I'm a sock model
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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