You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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