I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
