the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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