yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
