You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
