dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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