Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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