so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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