i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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