Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
