Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
