Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
