Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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