Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
