Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
