Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
