there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
