My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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