It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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