sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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