This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
