I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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