that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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