What tipped you off? The sombrero?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
