lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
