i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
