Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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