you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
