Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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