You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think your dad took our porno
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
